Welcome to Is This Available? by Dana and Maria, our weekly blast about something we find on Facebook Marketplace.
Haverstraw, New York
This week I’m being bad (breaking our self-imposed rule that all Marketplace finds must exist within the 5 boroughs) to bring you something truly special. Someone in Rockland county is selling the rarest munchie since Arthur’s green potato chip. Verdict: not poison!
Seller Jimmy Paterson reports to have eaten 10-11k bags of Linden’s Chocolate Chippers which if homie is let’s say 35 years old, shakes out to ~300 bags a year. Go off king I guess?
I won’t lie, “no lowballs I know what I have” has been haunting me. Sure you could apply it to conjoined twin cookies. You could also apply it to this fried chicken store for sale or this RARE impaled (?) giraffe, this darling pink bedroom set or this Coca Cola chandelier. But “no lowballs I know what I have” could also seep into the personal and professional. Try it on your boss who denies your raise despite your outstanding performance all year. Try it on that Hinge match who refuses to treat you like the treasure that you are.
Ultimately Dana and I are banned from asking Jimmy our titular question “is this available?” so the fate of this rare chocolate chipper will be hanging in the balance until further notice.
With that, I leave you with a little DW to cleanse the palette:
Dana’s miss of the week: My rare cookie would live in this Cowboy Charlie Stoneware Cookie Jar