Welcome to our first guest edition of Is This Available? by one of our most loyal subscribers, Lou Paradise. On Tuesday I (Dana) wrote, “I still have no idea what a perfect couch is. Maybe a perfect couch doesn’t exist.” Readers, the perfect couch does exist. Lou is the Count of Couches and is here to tell us all about it.
Brooklyn, New York
How do you measure years of searching for the perfect couch in New York City? It’s a loaded problem I want to untangle. Step one is securing a workable space. If you don’t have the square footage for a real (solid, heavy, not gonna slide around on you / deep enough to nap on), comfortable, 2-3-seater, I’m sorry but you are not in the running for the perfect couch. You can still find *the perfect couch for your space* but it won’t be anyone’s objective perfect couch.
Solving for couch = WORKABLE SPACE
And by no means is a 2-3-seater most people’s perfect couch, but for the sake of time, let’s confine our search to the universe of cramped NYC apartments. So, 2-3 seats, comfortable, solid––all sounds good. Now we gotta get it through the building door, up the stairs, and into your apartment door. Do you, like me, live at the top of a fourth-floor walkup, on the left hand side of a 3.5-foot-by-4.5-foot arched hallway facing two other apartments? If you answered yes, my condolences. But on the bright side, your search just narrowed itself down. No amount of pivoting is gonna get that 95”x44” Article Leather Sleeper Couch through your 82”x30” doorway––trust me :(––so bite the bullet and add “modular” to every search from here on out.
Solving for couch = WORKABLE SPACE + 2-3 SEATS + MODULAR
Enter: the chaise sectional. I found my current apartment two years ago, strapped with very recent FRIHETEN Sleeper Sectional W/ Storage PTSD. (Roommates + mismatched aesthetics x sentimental attachment to non-sensible furniture = trauma). If you can get past the fact that contemporary sectionals are generally, I’m gonna say it, UGLY, you’re in a much better position to find the perfect couch for your weirdly shaped and hard to navigate New York City apartment.
Solving for couch = WORKABLE SPACE + 2-3 SEATS + MODULAR — SECTIONAL STIGMA
^ That method will save you time, but I encourage you to follow your heart––and if that means trying to make it work with an 85”x40” Goose Feathers Linen Sofa deep in the labyrinth of Peter Cooper Village, don’t you dare think twice. Surrender, fall in love, and take a new couch home over and over again––I’m on my fifth in two years––and if you take my advice, you might just end up like me: exhausted with yourself and obsessed with a secondhand Floyd Two-Piece Form Sectional.
The uninitiated eye might compare the FRIH*TEN to the Floyd and find that IKEA’s (cursed) sectional is more utilitarian. It’s true! The FRIH*TEN has storage and allegedly converts into a bed. What they don’t tell you is that it’s a nightmare to clean and will stain even from spilled water, sitting on it feels like cuddling on cement, and your roommate will hoard a ton of shit inside it. The FLOYD on the other hand, is made with “performance fabric” (idk what that means either but I’ve cleaned a number of spills out of it in our two weeks together with no problem), it’s deep and comfortable enough to sleep on (I have 8/10 nights), and it’s literally the only aesthetically pleasing sectional I’ve ever seen. It’s modern, it’s big, but it’s not too big, it’s pretty low-profile, the cat loves it… it’s perfect :’)
Solving for couch = (WORKABLE SPACE + 2-3 SEATS + MODULAR — SECTIONAL STIGMA) x PERFORMANCE FABRIC
Hearing Lou is on their “fifth couch in two years” made our heads spin. Here’s how they rank:
Floyd Two-Piece Form Sectional: Marriage material :’)
Vintage French Provincial Couch: As pristine as advertised, straight out of a New Jersey garage––comfortable, shiny, soft. Could seat like, 16. Incredible centerpiece.
Near perfect vintage MCM 3-Piece Sectional Couch - Near perfect, as described. A fun centerpiece until I woke up one day and could no longer bear the color pink. I sold it in pieces and it took awhile. Very comfortable, but so lightweight it would slide around easily, and just so pink.
Tan Leather Sofa: It was an attractive starter couch. Not comfortable at all, but it was cute, cheap and long enough to nap on.
LC3 [sic] Sofa: Absolute last place, the imitation Corbusier LC2 loveseat. I longed for this guy for years. Beautiful, but this model is a children’s couch - so small even my cat refuses to lay on it. Good riddance.