Welcome to Is This Available? by Dana and Maria, our weekly blast about something we find on Facebook Marketplace.
Staten Island, New York
Ozempic, buccal fat removal and the desperation of my TikTok algorithm begging me to try pilates. No amount of body positivity or therapy can inoculate a girl against diet culture’s iron will.
Shrimp. My high protein, pretty in pink, much beloved traif – glamorous in a cocktail, cozy in a pan of garlic butter, garden party-ready on Rachel Antonoff’s seafood tower dress, my personal Oscar win for a woman in a supporting role in Ray Mack’s crab boil YouTube video film is now coming in lukewarm and dried to perfection from a Staten Island purveyor.
“50 lb per box. $31 per lb. Totally $1550 .. only 1 box thanks . Wholesale order more , okey we could distributor.” Lots of questions here that I’ll leave to the imagination, but before I let diet shrimp culture slide. Rachel Ray taught me that if you’ve cooked your shrimp so long it’s curled into an “O” shape it’s overcooked, but these petrified lil scamps should know this: they are perfect how they are and will make a gorgeous stock one day.
Fuck diet culture and fuck diet shrimp. I bet it smells crazy in there.
Dana’s Miss of the Week: Butter Dish Candle Holder, Unused