Welcome to Is This Available? by Dana and Maria, our weekly blast about something we find on Facebook Marketplace.
Hillsborough, NJ
Package deals entice me. I love a 2 for 1 deal on seltzer. I love “package deal” as the lingo the Game of Roses hosts use to refer to bachelor/bachelorette contestants who have children. I am by default endeared to this sort of linkage. It might be the loyalty destined in my astrological chart (Capricorn sun, Virgo rising, Taurus moon thank you very much) or the fact that I am a twin that made this particular package deal catch my eye.
“SELLING AS A LOT. WILL NOT SEPARATE” reads the listing for this army of troll dolls. Musty from presumably decades of basement life, these sweeties are begging for some TLC. I also will say that from afar, these little guys have the markers of cuteness, but up close they are downright haunting. Giving season 2 episode 6 of Yellowjackets a run for its money in scariness factor I guess.
Another reason I might have been drawn to this troll collection is that a baby visited me recently (not in a dream, yes with her parents) and she is OBSESSED with this new Trolls™ renaissance starring none other than the dulcet tones of Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick. A little disturbed to report that the Trolls™ movie kinda goes off.
Whether the package deal you seek is a bundle of creepy little guys, a mate for life or the untouchable solidarity of your local writer’s union, I hope we can all shake our hair and feel united (see below)
Dana’s miss of the week: This Spooky Antique Mannequin Hand deserves to be in a package deal too. If I had found her in time I would’ve dedicated the rest of my days to finding her right hand man. Scout’s honor.